When it comes to My Faith in Jesus Christ and the Testimony I hold dear in my heart I will never leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. But right now in our current family situation I struggle so hard to get excited about Sundays. I love going to church. I love hearing the lessons and talks. I love the spirit I feel. However I havn't been able to expiriance any of that in a long time. When Chad has to work on Sundays and I go all by myself the struggle starts on Saturday night (well Sat at 4pm)And now since the meeting time changed to 9am it became instantly harder. I spend my whole 3 hours fighting. Needless to say when we get home from church it cerntainly isn't the peaceful spirit we feel. The last few weeks have been especially hard and I end up in tears from humiliation from the way Cooper has been. I come home in tears wondering why I even bother. There are some people who try to help and somtimes it does but usually not. I try to hide in the Mothers lounge since there isn't many other places to go but I usually get run out of there from Mothers needing to nurse their babies. So I end up walking around carrying the screaming child while paople just stare at me. Yesterday was no different. I tried to go sit in the nursery but since he isn't 18mo yet I just feel like I'm in the way and shouldn't be there. Unfortunaly there is no solution right now. I still have 2 months before He goes to nursery. But I'm not sure I can handle much more before I crack. I think next week I will just deal with my guilt of not going and stay home. Then at least maybe the people around me can enjoy their time at church with out the crying inturruptions from my Child.
Monday, March 5, 2012
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4 comments:
Carey, I am so sorry. It stinks to have to go by yourself with small children. Don't feel guilty if you take a week off, sometimes everyone needs a vacation! Heavenly Father knows your heart and he understands. Love ya girl!
Don't give up dear sister. Yes take a week off but then get your but back there. I quite going when it got hard to get there and it has taking me 8 years to get back. I know how it feels to go alone but not the baby part. Just remember there are other mothers there going throgh the same thing. And for the ones who aren't then they really don't understand what you going through.
i forgot to tell you my secret for handling sac mtg without a hubby there. Ask one of the young women to be your helper every week. Or even an older woman in the ward. They will know that you are expecting them, and then they will sit with you on your row and help you with either the baby or the other boys. I have done this when brian was in the bishopric and it is heaven to have consistent help!!
Carey, I totally understand where you are coming from. I am a convert that can count on 2 hands how many times my sweet and worthy husband has been able to go to church with me because of work. I wish we were in the same word and we could just take turns. Your are so wonderful and doing a fantastic job as a mother and a beautiful example! Hugs to you!
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